I am gay
EC
When I was on the phone this evening with Mum, she told me that I am living together with a close friend of mine as he had separated from his partner. I do not know exactly from which source of information she had heard about it but I can tell you as the most concerned person that it is not true.
As I told you before, I have been living with a guy for more than 7 months to date. I forwarded some photos to you too and you knew about it since at the beginning. I am writing this to you again to explain Mum exactly what is going on and I don't want the rumours she heard will make her worry about my lifestyle. If needed, translate it for her so that she will understand.
I was born gay. I did not choose to be gay. But it happened that I could not evade physically and mentally from being gay. All my life, I have been gay. Mum knows about it. Papa knew about it. But I know some or all of my relatives may not open to understand and accept the fact that I am a gay. Perhaps, it is a shame for our family. But EC, being gay does not mean being an irresponsible son for the family.
Papa held my hands tightly the morning he passed away, and I reckoned thenceforth he blessed me to look after the family. He waited that morning to convey this message to me. God blessed me bountifully and I am very grateful that I could do my very best for my family.
As far as I am concerned, I did not fail you until mid 2007. I left Yangon as a feeling in mine about my love life went stronger and also in search of new adventures. But later I realized that it was not a very good decision. After all, I could accept the fact that it has been the will of God. If I were in the ICRC, I would have been a master at young age and my pride will spoil me forever.
I used to have someone I loved back in Yangon and you knew who he was and I am still in love with him I am sure. But things are over now. I assume that my life is in a new chapter. Even though there are many rooms between us to compromise, I will try my best to have strong commitment to this relationship. Neither are common between us apart from being humans. He is Burmese and I am Karen. He is young and I am 4 years older. He is Buddhist but I believe that Christ is my saviour. He did not even complete his primary education. And what else, you name it and we will not for sure, have it in common. But, I care no criticism, no reprehension and no censure about this relationship with him.
No man is perfect. And I am one of them. But I will never forget my family. I will try my best to accommodate everything that needs to be done. But I need freedom to exercise my lifestyle too. I felt so hurt when I heard from Kabrusay that A Pee Lydia was upset when she learnt about my lifestyle. It did hurt. As I told you before, it was very difficult for a gay to come out of the closet and express himself as what he is especially in the closed community like what we have. I am lucky. I don't need to come out. Because I knew my parents know about me. They were just could not accept it.
EC, I might not be a good son to uphold the cultures and norms. But I did not drink and slept on the road. I did not spend my parents' money in vain. I am not selfish enough to get married and leave my mother and siblings helpless. I don't want to be a good son. I just wanted to be a responsible son. If I am blamed today for being a gay, thank you, I will accept it with smile. As I mentioned before, I will not care about any criticism and gossip as those who do that do not bring daily bread for us. They are those who kinda licking my ass.
Loves
Ko Day
When I was on the phone this evening with Mum, she told me that I am living together with a close friend of mine as he had separated from his partner. I do not know exactly from which source of information she had heard about it but I can tell you as the most concerned person that it is not true.
As I told you before, I have been living with a guy for more than 7 months to date. I forwarded some photos to you too and you knew about it since at the beginning. I am writing this to you again to explain Mum exactly what is going on and I don't want the rumours she heard will make her worry about my lifestyle. If needed, translate it for her so that she will understand.
I was born gay. I did not choose to be gay. But it happened that I could not evade physically and mentally from being gay. All my life, I have been gay. Mum knows about it. Papa knew about it. But I know some or all of my relatives may not open to understand and accept the fact that I am a gay. Perhaps, it is a shame for our family. But EC, being gay does not mean being an irresponsible son for the family.
Papa held my hands tightly the morning he passed away, and I reckoned thenceforth he blessed me to look after the family. He waited that morning to convey this message to me. God blessed me bountifully and I am very grateful that I could do my very best for my family.
As far as I am concerned, I did not fail you until mid 2007. I left Yangon as a feeling in mine about my love life went stronger and also in search of new adventures. But later I realized that it was not a very good decision. After all, I could accept the fact that it has been the will of God. If I were in the ICRC, I would have been a master at young age and my pride will spoil me forever.
I used to have someone I loved back in Yangon and you knew who he was and I am still in love with him I am sure. But things are over now. I assume that my life is in a new chapter. Even though there are many rooms between us to compromise, I will try my best to have strong commitment to this relationship. Neither are common between us apart from being humans. He is Burmese and I am Karen. He is young and I am 4 years older. He is Buddhist but I believe that Christ is my saviour. He did not even complete his primary education. And what else, you name it and we will not for sure, have it in common. But, I care no criticism, no reprehension and no censure about this relationship with him.
No man is perfect. And I am one of them. But I will never forget my family. I will try my best to accommodate everything that needs to be done. But I need freedom to exercise my lifestyle too. I felt so hurt when I heard from Kabrusay that A Pee Lydia was upset when she learnt about my lifestyle. It did hurt. As I told you before, it was very difficult for a gay to come out of the closet and express himself as what he is especially in the closed community like what we have. I am lucky. I don't need to come out. Because I knew my parents know about me. They were just could not accept it.
EC, I might not be a good son to uphold the cultures and norms. But I did not drink and slept on the road. I did not spend my parents' money in vain. I am not selfish enough to get married and leave my mother and siblings helpless. I don't want to be a good son. I just wanted to be a responsible son. If I am blamed today for being a gay, thank you, I will accept it with smile. As I mentioned before, I will not care about any criticism and gossip as those who do that do not bring daily bread for us. They are those who kinda licking my ass.
Loves
Ko Day
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