Different Blessings
I had FB call yesterday in BKK before flying home with a relative and that reminds me of my parents especially my father. Wherever I go, whoever I am, whatever I do, at some point, I got to meet someone who knew him and they are not younger than 65. Those who knew him talked about him and always telling me how blessed I am to have such a father and yes, it was indeed.
I never thought I would become an orphan at the age of 34 looking at my other relatives who are decades older than me and still living, still going to church and still having some debates with their parents. My father passed away while I was 20 and 14 years later my mother died in our home in Toungoo. Last month, I was in downtown and at the corner of Anawrahta Road and 34th Street, I saw a teenage boy and his mother walking and suddenly it was a moment when I first came back to Yangon after high school 18 years ago holding my mother's hand. I never thought I would lose them all after 17 years.
I feel so lost when I they passed away but I did not know how to cry. I looked for a moment to cry. When my father died, I was by his side, my mother came in first and crying and suddenly wiped out her tears murmuring, "I became a widow and you lost your father but I need to stop crying as your sisters would be very sad." My tears also stopped from that moment on. She repeatedly said, "We have done our best and we could not cry any more." 14 years later, I did my best and I could not cry either.
They are not with me today but their lifestyles have shaped my life so well. Our relative told me, my father had bought high heel shoes for me and told them that I wanted them since I was young. I think they knew who I was going to be. While other gays and transgender are being discriminated within their families, I have been loved by my parents and siblings and in fact the victim of discrimination was my mother who was so much pressured by the community and her relatives.
I now realized that my father would have wanted me to be like him, and my mother would have dreamt of the same to take after his. He was a military personnel of who admired and remembered by people who have come across him but his children hardly knew who he was before he died. My relative told me he was so good to them. Yes he was. He was so good to me too. He made me stronger telling me he would have to punish me if I do something wrong on my 5th year birthday forth as I was getting older and could know what is good and what is bad. He told me all he could give me was education but nothing else and that even made me stronger.
It is a blessing to have your parents with you for many many years but it is also even a huge blessing to have their ways of life and their good deeds follow you all the way and you continue living the essence of life they aimed for you.
Yaya | 12 Oct 2016
I never thought I would become an orphan at the age of 34 looking at my other relatives who are decades older than me and still living, still going to church and still having some debates with their parents. My father passed away while I was 20 and 14 years later my mother died in our home in Toungoo. Last month, I was in downtown and at the corner of Anawrahta Road and 34th Street, I saw a teenage boy and his mother walking and suddenly it was a moment when I first came back to Yangon after high school 18 years ago holding my mother's hand. I never thought I would lose them all after 17 years.
I feel so lost when I they passed away but I did not know how to cry. I looked for a moment to cry. When my father died, I was by his side, my mother came in first and crying and suddenly wiped out her tears murmuring, "I became a widow and you lost your father but I need to stop crying as your sisters would be very sad." My tears also stopped from that moment on. She repeatedly said, "We have done our best and we could not cry any more." 14 years later, I did my best and I could not cry either.
They are not with me today but their lifestyles have shaped my life so well. Our relative told me, my father had bought high heel shoes for me and told them that I wanted them since I was young. I think they knew who I was going to be. While other gays and transgender are being discriminated within their families, I have been loved by my parents and siblings and in fact the victim of discrimination was my mother who was so much pressured by the community and her relatives.
I now realized that my father would have wanted me to be like him, and my mother would have dreamt of the same to take after his. He was a military personnel of who admired and remembered by people who have come across him but his children hardly knew who he was before he died. My relative told me he was so good to them. Yes he was. He was so good to me too. He made me stronger telling me he would have to punish me if I do something wrong on my 5th year birthday forth as I was getting older and could know what is good and what is bad. He told me all he could give me was education but nothing else and that even made me stronger.
It is a blessing to have your parents with you for many many years but it is also even a huge blessing to have their ways of life and their good deeds follow you all the way and you continue living the essence of life they aimed for you.
Yaya | 12 Oct 2016
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