I date myself

My partner is busy today at his office and they will have a water festival celebration at their office!  I have been working all day on my mac translating a legal document for hours.  I could not stand it anymore and I have decided that I need to get out of my tiny bedroom-office!

I went to Myanmar Plaza and looked for something to drink.  Given a sore throat I am suffering, I chose Gloria Jeans and got an Americano.  I rewarded myself a piece of red velvet cake.  Not a small piece though.  While enjoying my coffee and cake, I realised a middle-aged woman sitting with another younger woman (very likely to be her daughter) was looking at me curiously.  Then what I am going to write today disappeared and the way she looked at me came to my mind fiercely to start writing about it.

Unlike other countries, transwomen in Myanmar face something else.  It is true that the community accepts them to some extent but not beyond that, i.e. a transwoman can be a make-up artist, florist, spiritual dancer or sex worker but should not be working as a technician or seriously looking at a computer screen.  I felt the look that middle-aged woman gave me; felt it to my bones.  And I want to share with you that it is not a human right violation but it is something killing a human being.  Many transwomen could not stand those looks and eventually gave up which is sad.  Some end up their lives within the boundaries where the community are comfortable seeing them as make-up artists, florists and etc etc.

I look at myself.  What am I?  Will I try to get what I want to be or will I let the community shape what I should be?  Am I an alien or am I just alienated?  By appearance, I do not see any differences, I am one of them, one of the human beings and my needs are like other human beings: love, respect, friendship ....  I am no stranger and so are other transwomen.  Why are we treated differently?  Why haven't we had a space like others?  Tell me something.

Our country is in transition to democracy and in needs of lots of resources.  There are priorities and we do understand but the way a spoke-person of a political party laughing undermining the rights of LGBT people is so disturbing to me like the look of the middle-aged woman who is still sitting in front of me.  But I am not upset with him because there is nothing to be upset about.  Those laughing or looking at me are soon dying.  They have expiry date and so are we.  We are going to die one day maybe within a couple of decades and they are perhaps ending the next decade but our cause will not die.  There will be transwomen activist who goes beyond their comfort zones and continue advocating for their rights.

Education is still luxury for transwomen and that has to change.  The transwomen should be able to go to school and be who they are and should not be restricted from living their lives with dignity.

I wanted to say shortly that I had to date myself because I am alone this evening and I am enjoying my coffee.  My coffee evening was not ruined but inspired me more to live my life meaningfully the way I am.

Yaya (pour toi) | 10 Apr 2017 @ 2017 | Myanmar Plaza | Yangon | Myanmar