So....
I usually wake up on Saturday morning around 9 am or even late. Not that it is my habit but I do it on purpose. Because, I always get up at 7:30 am the latest from Monday to Friday no matter how late I go to bed, I have to wake up to go to the my workplace. The office official hours are from 8 am to 4:30 pm. Mostly, I arrive in my office at 8:30 am. I never feel bad about being that late because, I always work until 5 pm or sometimes 6 pm depending on my workloads and moods.
I love my Head of Office. He is such a nice, smart casual and flexible personality in his mid thirties and recently got an adorable son. I never heard he complained about someone late to the office. I also have a colleague who comes to the office on time, leaves on time or sometimes earlier and often gives me comment when I am late to the office. When I arrive in the office building, the first thing I do is checking my pigeon hole to see if there is any correspondence. That colleague sits near that stand and never forget to ask, "Is everything OK with you?, what's wrong?" ... His intention maybe positive, who knows? But since I am not that optimistic, I don't give it a shit.
This morning, precisely Saturday morning, I woke up at 7:30 am by a call from my boyfriend who is now working in Mae Sot. That's one of the routine jobs he would do to check if I am going to the office or sick in bed. He does not know which day is what because he works 7 days a week as a normal migrant worker in Thailand from Myanmar and does not know weekends. I started my Saturday morning scolding at him for calling me. Then I went to bed; but could no longer fall asleep. My bad, I should have put my phone on silence mode.
As I could not fall back to sleep then I checked my email from BB. It makes my eyes wider.... You know the reason? I'll tell you. I got an email from my bank saying that my debit card has been charged for purchasing more than 60 USD from Apple iTunes Store. Fuck!!!!! What the hell is going on? I had to wake up right away, rang the call center, suspended my card and prepared to complete the dispute claim. I checked my iTunes. I bought nothing. I checked my apps on Apple Apps Store, I bought nothing and nothing was updated or upgraded. I will still have to fax the bank the signed dispute letter. I think I have had enough works to do but now come the add-ins. This all happened before 9 am.
As usual on Saturday morning, I opened my windows to invite day light and fresh air but to my dismay, everywhere is full of smoke. The farmers are preparing their farms to be cultivated again. It seems like it has been more than weeks. I just came back from a two weeks holidays I did not experience the beginning of the smoke season but I am in now in the middle of it. And on the second day from my arrival, I had sore throat from breathing these smokes. The blue sky is gone. And it looks like the rain is coming soon and it is so dark. I hate to see that but thse are beyond my control. I don't want my saturday morning to be ruined in that way so I decided to take a shower put on full make-ups and go to saturday market to buy some snacks and a fibre stirring tool for my new non-sticky pan. I got some preserved tomatoes, sunflower seeds and the fibre spoon. Oh! I even got a room thermometer decorated in wood. :-)
I want my Saturday morning to be even poetic, I decided to get a brew. I went to my favourite coffee shop and ordered a latte. Unfortunately, they could not make it because there is no electricity. I ride my motorbike for another 10 mins to arrive to another coffee shop which is not my favourite. I ended up having a latte full of creamer and not milk. What a coffee on earth! The coffee shop itself is attached to a guesthouse and the decoration is superb and romantic but simply the coffee sucks. I have no choice then. Just to take the smoky environment photos and drink the creamer. Should we add another type of coffee to the menu, "Creameo" making it sound a bit Italian?
I enjoyed my creameo with custard cake sandwich I got from 7/11 this morning. After fixing the errands early in the morning, I want my brunch to be exciting and inspirational. I think about Mont-Hin-Ka; the burmese rice noodles in fishy thick soup, Shan rice noodles with chicken and fried rice with steamed beans. Well, they are exciting and inspirational but they are just my dreams. What I coud get is Kway Ta Yo, Ham-cheese sandwiches, porridge, chicken rice and what else; you just name some boring food stuff. I am not into cooking mood since I got back and I completed my wonderful evening with 7/11 for the whole week. Yet, it is to be ended; I got that custard cake sandwiches. Yesterday afternoon, during lunch with a friend in office kitchen, a colleague of mine said he has been eating junk food and he needs more veges and fruits in his diet. I have nothing to say because I don't see them as junk food or whatever. I don't have any feelings toward them. I just think them as boring substances to put in my stomach through my mouth not to be in hunger. I have no further comment.
I rode my bike for another 10 mins heading to another coffee shop since I cannot end my morning with such creameo. I grabbed a latte from that cafe called Ka La To. The quality is cannot be compared to Black Canyon, Chinatown or Starbucks but it is way better than that creameo. I am not that fussy on food and drinks; my friends know that and even the food that they could not stand will be good meals for me. But to be frank, that creameo really sucks.
I came back to my room with a latte and I am thinking what I am going to do. I want to talk face to face to a person I can call as a friend too. I don't want to talk on web cam, I don't want to talk on the phone. I want to sit at a coffee shop or even if it is at home, I want to laugh and speak out loud. Since the beginning of this week, I haven't seen people apart from my colleagues and I don't talk to them about anything apart from workloads, cases and deadlines. I love to read and watch movies but I don't want to eccentric and be friends with films, tv shows and books. I want to be friends with human beings. I don't want to write down my feelings on blog alone. I want to share it with my human friends and get feedback from them. I just dont want to encode but want someone to decode my talks. I prefer to have two way communication.
Being a gay and a child born from unmarried couple in closed communities, I did not get enough security in my mind and I started my life pretending to be stronger and outspoken. I did not get to cry and did not take more than 3 days leave when my father passed away. I stayed away from my family members. I hate to be a weak person in front of others but always say I love to cry to gain strength. I don't know if I am lying myself.
I am reckless and pointless these days but not feelingless. I feel I have lost "me" all these years.
I want a shoulder to cry on. I don't want to cry alone.
David (pour toi) | 10 March 2012 @ 14:13 | Mae Sariang | Thailand
I love my Head of Office. He is such a nice, smart casual and flexible personality in his mid thirties and recently got an adorable son. I never heard he complained about someone late to the office. I also have a colleague who comes to the office on time, leaves on time or sometimes earlier and often gives me comment when I am late to the office. When I arrive in the office building, the first thing I do is checking my pigeon hole to see if there is any correspondence. That colleague sits near that stand and never forget to ask, "Is everything OK with you?, what's wrong?" ... His intention maybe positive, who knows? But since I am not that optimistic, I don't give it a shit.
This morning, precisely Saturday morning, I woke up at 7:30 am by a call from my boyfriend who is now working in Mae Sot. That's one of the routine jobs he would do to check if I am going to the office or sick in bed. He does not know which day is what because he works 7 days a week as a normal migrant worker in Thailand from Myanmar and does not know weekends. I started my Saturday morning scolding at him for calling me. Then I went to bed; but could no longer fall asleep. My bad, I should have put my phone on silence mode.
As I could not fall back to sleep then I checked my email from BB. It makes my eyes wider.... You know the reason? I'll tell you. I got an email from my bank saying that my debit card has been charged for purchasing more than 60 USD from Apple iTunes Store. Fuck!!!!! What the hell is going on? I had to wake up right away, rang the call center, suspended my card and prepared to complete the dispute claim. I checked my iTunes. I bought nothing. I checked my apps on Apple Apps Store, I bought nothing and nothing was updated or upgraded. I will still have to fax the bank the signed dispute letter. I think I have had enough works to do but now come the add-ins. This all happened before 9 am.
As usual on Saturday morning, I opened my windows to invite day light and fresh air but to my dismay, everywhere is full of smoke. The farmers are preparing their farms to be cultivated again. It seems like it has been more than weeks. I just came back from a two weeks holidays I did not experience the beginning of the smoke season but I am in now in the middle of it. And on the second day from my arrival, I had sore throat from breathing these smokes. The blue sky is gone. And it looks like the rain is coming soon and it is so dark. I hate to see that but thse are beyond my control. I don't want my saturday morning to be ruined in that way so I decided to take a shower put on full make-ups and go to saturday market to buy some snacks and a fibre stirring tool for my new non-sticky pan. I got some preserved tomatoes, sunflower seeds and the fibre spoon. Oh! I even got a room thermometer decorated in wood. :-)
I want my Saturday morning to be even poetic, I decided to get a brew. I went to my favourite coffee shop and ordered a latte. Unfortunately, they could not make it because there is no electricity. I ride my motorbike for another 10 mins to arrive to another coffee shop which is not my favourite. I ended up having a latte full of creamer and not milk. What a coffee on earth! The coffee shop itself is attached to a guesthouse and the decoration is superb and romantic but simply the coffee sucks. I have no choice then. Just to take the smoky environment photos and drink the creamer. Should we add another type of coffee to the menu, "Creameo" making it sound a bit Italian?
I enjoyed my creameo with custard cake sandwich I got from 7/11 this morning. After fixing the errands early in the morning, I want my brunch to be exciting and inspirational. I think about Mont-Hin-Ka; the burmese rice noodles in fishy thick soup, Shan rice noodles with chicken and fried rice with steamed beans. Well, they are exciting and inspirational but they are just my dreams. What I coud get is Kway Ta Yo, Ham-cheese sandwiches, porridge, chicken rice and what else; you just name some boring food stuff. I am not into cooking mood since I got back and I completed my wonderful evening with 7/11 for the whole week. Yet, it is to be ended; I got that custard cake sandwiches. Yesterday afternoon, during lunch with a friend in office kitchen, a colleague of mine said he has been eating junk food and he needs more veges and fruits in his diet. I have nothing to say because I don't see them as junk food or whatever. I don't have any feelings toward them. I just think them as boring substances to put in my stomach through my mouth not to be in hunger. I have no further comment.
I rode my bike for another 10 mins heading to another coffee shop since I cannot end my morning with such creameo. I grabbed a latte from that cafe called Ka La To. The quality is cannot be compared to Black Canyon, Chinatown or Starbucks but it is way better than that creameo. I am not that fussy on food and drinks; my friends know that and even the food that they could not stand will be good meals for me. But to be frank, that creameo really sucks.
I came back to my room with a latte and I am thinking what I am going to do. I want to talk face to face to a person I can call as a friend too. I don't want to talk on web cam, I don't want to talk on the phone. I want to sit at a coffee shop or even if it is at home, I want to laugh and speak out loud. Since the beginning of this week, I haven't seen people apart from my colleagues and I don't talk to them about anything apart from workloads, cases and deadlines. I love to read and watch movies but I don't want to eccentric and be friends with films, tv shows and books. I want to be friends with human beings. I don't want to write down my feelings on blog alone. I want to share it with my human friends and get feedback from them. I just dont want to encode but want someone to decode my talks. I prefer to have two way communication.
Being a gay and a child born from unmarried couple in closed communities, I did not get enough security in my mind and I started my life pretending to be stronger and outspoken. I did not get to cry and did not take more than 3 days leave when my father passed away. I stayed away from my family members. I hate to be a weak person in front of others but always say I love to cry to gain strength. I don't know if I am lying myself.
I am reckless and pointless these days but not feelingless. I feel I have lost "me" all these years.
I want a shoulder to cry on. I don't want to cry alone.
David (pour toi) | 10 March 2012 @ 14:13 | Mae Sariang | Thailand
Comments
u should write more like daily journal
just express ur feelings, like today u felt so alive or happy
practice writing
then sooner u will become CB LOL
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